Handbag of the Day: Yellow Mini Bag

I haven't thought much about small purses that aren't clutches lately.  This Yellow Light Mini Bag caught my eye, though.  It's $198, a super fun color for spring and summer, and the strap is long enough to wear it as a cross body.  Check, check, and CHECK.

Calling Them Cinderella Shoes Doesn't Make Them The Stuff of Fantasies

 First off, everyone MUST CLICK THIS LINK. I can't be the only one to experience the horror.

If you are currently shopping for bridal shoes, or ever have before, you know the selection is horrendous.  The phrase "crystal clear evening shoes" should never be used when describing the shoes a woman will be wearing on one of the best/most important/highest stress days of her life.

It evokes images of plastic hooker shoes fit only for the dirtiest street corners of an inner city.  And don't worry, many of the shoes in this section are just that.

But then there is this:

Presenting... the Cinderella evening shoe.

**crickets**

Yep, the sound of one hand clapping.  The site helpfully describes them as follows: "Romantic Clear Vinyl Evening Shoes featuring Cuban Heels and Silver Strips Down the Backseam.  Tiny perforations at the footbed provide air circulation so you can dance long after the clock strikes twelve!"

Don't know about you, but when I pictured Cindy's shoes at the ball, I was thinking of something a little less...ugly.  And matronly.  And cheap.  Hell, the fairy godmother didn't have a budget, right? 

And calling them Cinderella doesn't make them fit for a princess, or even a real life bride.  Romantic?  I'm thinking the last thing on the prince's mind would be romance, and he'd be wondering why such a grotesque shoe was being worn by such a lovely girl.

I know I'm not gonna be the Bride with the Ugly Shoes.  So who the hell is buying this crap?!

Guest Post on That's Hideous!

Hey all- on January 25 (yeah, I know I'm behind) my guest post on rain boots was published on the fun and fabulous That's Hideous! You can find it here.

No, No, NO: Snuggie for Dogs

Um, hell no.

Please Don't Do This

These are orange leather zippered-pocket shorts from Fendi.

Let's break that down, shall we?

Orange. Leather. Zippered-Pocket. Shorts. From Fendi.

They are $1670.  The kicker?  There are only 2 sizes left on Net-A-Porter.

Must be the silk lining.

Dresses

It strikes me that, given my last post, I should address a weighty topic that doesn't get as much attention as it deserves.

What is a dress?

First, I will tell you what a dress is not:
1. It is not a shirt, tee or otherwise.
2. It is not a bathing suit cover up.
3. It is not a caftan, tunic, or other long piece of fabric that is, in fact, something else entirely.

In short, a dress does not require pants or other bottoms to make it decent in public.

Now then, what is a dress, you ask?

A dress is a garment that, in one easy piece, makes up your ENTIRE outfit for the day, not counting accessories or outerwear.

Let's have a quiz, mmm kay?
 
1) True or False: this is a dress

2) This is: a) a dress; b) a platypus c) a $105 triangle of fabric that requires pants and a whole other shirt underneath to make it decent (Hint: it's from AW)

3) Fill in the blank: I just love how this _______ is so stripey and comfortable!

Answers: 1)F-F-F-False; 2) c; 3) Nightshirt (I would have also accepted favorite tee to wear with jeans or baseball shirt)

If you got any answers wrong, I am happy to conduct tutoring sessions.

Designer Dis: AW, Part 2

So, this is in the Dresses section on the Nordstrom site.  I didn't stutter.

Regardless of Nordstrom's apparent gullibility, Alexander Wang has the nerve to call this a Pocket T-Shirt Dress. For $85.

If by "dress," AW means that it's an over-sized, stretched out gray t-shirt most women would borrow from their bf/husband/brother/dad to sleep in, then fine, perhaps we can chat.  If, however, AW means to imply that this garment is meant to be worn WITHOUT PANTS, IN PUBLIC, then hell no.  People, it's not even cotton! Stretched pieces of out rayon shouldn't be $85, much less in the dress section. 

It's also helpfully unlined, so your rayon swatch can be see-through and clingy, in addition to all of its other amazing features.

I think the best part of this overpriced piece of crap is the description, which EDub pointed out.  The best thing Nordstrom/AW had to say about this?  "Slips on over head."