Tuesday, March 31, 2009

No Fuchsia Snake!

Let's discuss how nauseating these shoes are. Nine West really bit the big one on these. Not only are they freaking HIDEOUS, it is offensive that I have been seeing them in store windows and magazines. God FORBID I should see them on someone's feet.

I would like to take a moment to reiterate my two most important rules for animal print:

1. Small Doses

2. Colors that occur in nature

I really thought number 2 was obvious, but apparently Nine West didn't get that memo. Seriously, I cannot even IMAGINE wearing these around as anything other than a joke. No fuchsia snake people! Not on your feet, not on your wallet, not on your belt.

Lest you think that Nine West had just the one slip up, check out this revolting little peice of craziness. Um, is this a boot that got a bite taken out? A shoe with a headpiece? With what, exactly, would you wear these?

And these sandals are from hell. I cannot fathom how ANYONE would slap three plastic discs, each more hideous than the last, on a black patent sandal and call it spring footwear. These aren't for spring, summer, winter, or fall. They are for avoiding entirely.

So, I'm already not a fan of clogs, but I am willing to bet that these would win for Fugliest Clogs Ever. A blue studded peeptoe clog?! Really?! I am speechless.

And here's the sad part: Nine West doesn't always suck. Right now, Nine West is apprently all about tackiness. Maybe next season they can work on not insulting all of us with eyes.

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