Thursday, July 21, 2011

A Mullet Skirt. At Safeway.

I almost forgot the best/worst fashion news of my week!  I saw an otherwise normal-looking woman wearing a mullet skirt yesterday.  At Safeway.  In the produce department.  Different colors than this pic, but otherwise, that's the skirt she was wearing.  While picking out her bananas.

A Letter to InStyle

Dear InStyle,

I follow you on Twitter and often click your links to see who wore what to which event no one else knows about and which nail colors are hot that week/day/hour.  I appreciate the up-to-the-minute coverage of unattainable celebrity looks and overpriced skincare products.  You particularly excel in convincing me, while I stand in line at the grocery store, that I simply must have your latest print issue, even though I know that 100% of its content is available- for free- online.  With your colorful, glossy covers promising me better skin in an hour and that I will look more stylish in 30 seconds, I cannot help but succumb to your pages.

However, yesterday you posted a link to an article called "Vampire Girlfriends: Are You Like Bella, Elena, Sookie, or Buffy?"

So, um.  This is not a thing.  Which Vampire Girlfriend I am, that is.  It's not comparable to asking whether people have a classic, romantic, or edgy style, or whether we think Karl Lagerfeld has had botox.  It's just...not a thing.

Aside from the fact that I don't know who any of those chicks are (except Buffy, obviously), I am grossed out horrified a little concerned that you are telling women that they'd be good at being some vampire dude's gf.  Even if vampires existed (see: not a thing, above), they suck blood.  You know, to stay alive or powerful or whatever.  So that's gross.  And vaguely immoral.  And probably illegal.  Thus, a woman aspiring to date such a dude in real life, or even find out which such weirdo she'd be most compatible with, is disturbing.  Like Seek-Professional-Help disturbing, not I-Still-Like-Hello-Kitty disturbing. 

And you are not only encouraging such weirdness, you are tweeting it to all 2,021,019 (at last count) of your followers.

I read your magazine and site for its content on clothes, makeup, and which celebrity wore some fugly dress better.  Not for strange, off the wall topics like this one. 

Stick to what you do best, please.  All 2 million+ of us will thank you.

Ellen S.

Handbag of the Day: Weathered Shoulder Bag

For everyone who prefers a more rugged look- and even something a little masculine- I bring you this weathered shoulder bag.  It's $112.95, is fully lined, features some cool brass studs, and your purchase will fund 6% of a mammogram.  I can see this working in all seasons, with a variety of outfits; it will certainly lend a tougher vibe to whatever else you are wearing.

Monday, July 18, 2011

10ish Things You Must Own

It's been a long time since I posted about the items every woman absolutely must have in her closet.  Most lists are boring as hell and hardly capture the diversity of women and their needs.  Since most of these "must have" lists bug me, I usually create my own.

InStyle's latest list doesn't bug me, however.  It's actually updated for this year! And it includes animal print! And there's no white button down!  I recommend checking it out.

For the first time, I can get on board with 9 out of 10 items on such a list.  The one I disagree with?  An oversize watch.

Accessories, as I keep repeating OVER AND OVER, should be proportional to the person wearing them.  So, if you are a tiny person, have tiny wrists, or your frame generally gets overwhelmed by large peices, an oversize watch won't do you any favors. 

I can get away with huge necklaces because of my stature, but because I have small wrists, large peices there just look silly.

Ladies, read these lists with a skeptical eye.  Be open-minded about trying new things, but if something doesn't work, move on.

Handbag of the Day: Leather & Bows

This sweet little number is $134.36 and is available on the Breast Cancer Awareness site.  Whenever you shop from this site, a portion of your purchase goes to help fund mammograms.  Buying this particular handbag funds 6% of a mammogram.  Also, there's $4.95 standard shipping and a free fold-away tote with the code BagItUp.  Not bad for such a cute bag that will go with everything.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Change Your Closet, Change Your Life

I have always been a proponent of the phrase "Change your shoes, change your life."  Not the deepest sentiment of all time, but one that makes sense.  Sometimes just changing one little thing can make everything seem so much better.  It follows (to me, anyway) that if you change your shoe STORAGE, you could change your life, too.  And damn, people, did I need it.

But my long wait is over!  I have a custom closet, complete with fabulous shoe storage.


Sagging hanging bar, piles of unreachable shoes, chaos.


A place for everything, including my babies  preciouses shoes.  And I shall call her Yves.

I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't feel like this when it was installed:


I am off to organize my clothes by color.  Wouldn't want the shoes to feel self-conscious.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Handbag of the Day: 3 Stud Bay Cross Body

People, I think I just found my crossbody for Disney.  (What, I didn't mention I am going to Disneyland during the hottest part of the summer with 4 kids (not mine!) and 3 other adults?)

This is the Bryna Nicole 3 Stud Bay cross body. It also comes in this color:

It is $98, which is pretty good for such a sweet little leather number.  It looks perfect for staying hands free all day while being able to tote around a phone, cash, hand sanitizer, and a spare diaper (for the kids, wiseguy).  It's also a little bit cool, with the stud details and diagonal stitching.

The real question is, which one to choose?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Sleeker Versions of Your Comfy Clothes

You CAN look put together in casual clothes.  A lot has to do with fit and pieces with just enough tailoring to give some shape and structure to your outfits.

Don't gripe to me about cost, either. I get that you don't necessarily want to spend a fortune on your casual-wear.  Everything I am showing in this post is from Old Navy, except the accessories.

1. Swap your faded denim with elastic waistbands (you know who you are!) for more structured jeans in a darker wash. They are just are comfortable as other jeans, but they look infinitely more polished.

Instead of these:

(Don't do this to yourself; even supermodels look weird in pleated denim and unless you are over 5'9", capris are NOT your friend.)

Try these:

2. Replace cut off or rolled up shorts (both look juvenile and messy) for finished, hemmed ones.  (The above rule for jeans applies to denim shorts, too.)

Instead of these:
 Try these:
3.  While you are at it, get rid of the ones that ride up (hello, inappropriate) and get some longer length shorts.

Like madras in the summer? Instead of these:

Try these:
4.  Replace a (yes, very comfy) shapeless tee, with a more structured (and equally comfy) piece.  A little tailoring can go a long way toward making you appear more polished.

Save this for the gym:

And try this, instead:

Or this:

Or this:

5. Accessorize!  It doesn't have to be fussy or take more than a few seconds.  Put on a necklace and a cocktail ring or some earrings and a bracelet.  Or put on a pretty watch. And unless you have a baby with grabby hands, you don't have to save the dangly fun stuff for parties.

Instead of your barely-existent studs, try these:
Instead of your daily bangle, try this:
Instead of your tired, tiny chain with tiny charm, try this:
Now that we have that problem solved, what's next? Hit me up with your questions!

Leopard Print Flats Roundup

Last year, I did a zebra print flats round up.  This year, I can't go into a shoe store or browse a shoe site without tripping over several pairs of leopard print flats.  For those of you who shy away from animal print, leopard print (on shoes) has several advantages over others: First, they are truly neutral, with shades of brown and black, and often taupe and grey. Second, they can read playful but are also (mostly) office-appropriate.

The best rule regarding animal print is to use it sparingly in an outfit.  To keep the look polished and sophisticated, you may also want to stick with naturally-occurring color patterns- and natural materials- instead of more difficult to wear options, like pink faux patent snake print or blue faux suede zebra print. 

As it turns out, I personally prefer my leopard print shoes to be made of hair (faux or real) with a pointed toe.

And so, I give you a leopard print flats round up...

This pair, from Coconuts, is $59 (faux-hair):

This Sam Edelman pair is $140 (real suede and hair):

This Maria Sharapova by Cole Haan pair is $79.99 and made from suede:

Piperlime has A TON of these.  In fact, the first 5 pairs of shoes in Piperlime's flats section are leopard print flats.  And they have a varied price range.

This Ivanka Trump pair is $129.95 and made of calf hair:

The little bow is cute touch.

These are the calf hair leopard print pointy toed flats to end all calf hair leopard print pointy toed flats.  They are from Kate Spade, they are $225, and some day I will make them mine:

Stuart Weitzman also has a sweet pair, with a bow and cap toe ($355, calf hair):

Jeffrey Campbell's loafer-like take on the leopard flat is just a little different ($99.95, calf hair):

I really like this Classiques Entier pair ($119.95, calf hair):

The bow breaks up the print a bit, and the pointed toe is sharp without being aggressive.

And like Piperlime, Nordstrom has many, many more options...

For your Yeah, Right Moment of The Day, I present the Jimmy Choo Berry Calf Hair flat, for a whopping $725:

Yeah, right.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

What's the Diff? Kate Spade Lookalike Edition

It's true! I found a high-quality Kate Spade lookalike brand that costs less: Anne M Cramer

Here's the Kate Spade Striped Lillith Skirt ($228; originally $325):

It's a silk/cotton blend with pockets and it's adorable.

Here is the Anne M Cramer Flynn skirt ($160):

It's cotton twill with pockets and it's adorable.  And it's $68 less than the sale price of the Kate Spade.

Check out the rest of their spring and fall collections.  Trust me, Kate Spade lovers, you'll be glad you did.

July Shopping: Banning the Ban

July is my birthday month, and my Anthro birthday discount is definitely getting used. And I am still on the Hunt for Red Pointy Toed Patent Leather Flats.

So, I believe the shopping ban is over, at least for this month.

Next up: sleeker versions of comfy classics.  You CAN look put together even when going causal.