Sunday, January 31, 2010

Handbag of the Day: Yellow Mini Bag

I haven't thought much about small purses that aren't clutches lately.  This Yellow Light Mini Bag caught my eye, though.  It's $198, a super fun color for spring and summer, and the strap is long enough to wear it as a cross body.  Check, check, and CHECK.

Calling Them Cinderella Shoes Doesn't Make Them The Stuff of Fantasies

 First off, everyone MUST CLICK THIS LINK. I can't be the only one to experience the horror.

If you are currently shopping for bridal shoes, or ever have before, you know the selection is horrendous.  The phrase "crystal clear evening shoes" should never be used when describing the shoes a woman will be wearing on one of the best/most important/highest stress days of her life.

It evokes images of plastic hooker shoes fit only for the dirtiest street corners of an inner city.  And don't worry, many of the shoes in this section are just that.

But then there is this:

Presenting... the Cinderella evening shoe.


Yep, the sound of one hand clapping.  The site helpfully describes them as follows: "Romantic Clear Vinyl Evening Shoes featuring Cuban Heels and Silver Strips Down the Backseam.  Tiny perforations at the footbed provide air circulation so you can dance long after the clock strikes twelve!"

Don't know about you, but when I pictured Cindy's shoes at the ball, I was thinking of something a little less...ugly.  And matronly.  And cheap.  Hell, the fairy godmother didn't have a budget, right? 

And calling them Cinderella doesn't make them fit for a princess, or even a real life bride.  Romantic?  I'm thinking the last thing on the prince's mind would be romance, and he'd be wondering why such a grotesque shoe was being worn by such a lovely girl.

I know I'm not gonna be the Bride with the Ugly Shoes.  So who the hell is buying this crap?!

Guest Post on That's Hideous!

Hey all- on January 25 (yeah, I know I'm behind) my guest post on rain boots was published on the fun and fabulous That's Hideous! You can find it here.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

No, No, NO: Snuggie for Dogs

Um, hell no.

Please Don't Do This

These are orange leather zippered-pocket shorts from Fendi.

Let's break that down, shall we?

Orange. Leather. Zippered-Pocket. Shorts. From Fendi.

They are $1670.  The kicker?  There are only 2 sizes left on Net-A-Porter.

Must be the silk lining.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


It strikes me that, given my last post, I should address a weighty topic that doesn't get as much attention as it deserves.

What is a dress?

First, I will tell you what a dress is not:
1. It is not a shirt, tee or otherwise.
2. It is not a bathing suit cover up.
3. It is not a caftan, tunic, or other long piece of fabric that is, in fact, something else entirely.

In short, a dress does not require pants or other bottoms to make it decent in public.

Now then, what is a dress, you ask?

A dress is a garment that, in one easy piece, makes up your ENTIRE outfit for the day, not counting accessories or outerwear.

Let's have a quiz, mmm kay?
1) True or False: this is a dress

2) This is: a) a dress; b) a platypus c) a $105 triangle of fabric that requires pants and a whole other shirt underneath to make it decent (Hint: it's from AW)

3) Fill in the blank: I just love how this _______ is so stripey and comfortable!

Answers: 1)F-F-F-False; 2) c; 3) Nightshirt (I would have also accepted favorite tee to wear with jeans or baseball shirt)

If you got any answers wrong, I am happy to conduct tutoring sessions.

Designer Dis: AW, Part 2

So, this is in the Dresses section on the Nordstrom site.  I didn't stutter.

Regardless of Nordstrom's apparent gullibility, Alexander Wang has the nerve to call this a Pocket T-Shirt Dress. For $85.

If by "dress," AW means that it's an over-sized, stretched out gray t-shirt most women would borrow from their bf/husband/brother/dad to sleep in, then fine, perhaps we can chat.  If, however, AW means to imply that this garment is meant to be worn WITHOUT PANTS, IN PUBLIC, then hell no.  People, it's not even cotton! Stretched pieces of out rayon shouldn't be $85, much less in the dress section. 

It's also helpfully unlined, so your rayon swatch can be see-through and clingy, in addition to all of its other amazing features.

I think the best part of this overpriced piece of crap is the description, which EDub pointed out.  The best thing Nordstrom/AW had to say about this?  "Slips on over head."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Handbag of the Day: Leather Day Bag

This Sumptuous Leather Handbag from Boden is $178 and comes in 5 colors.  I love its shape and size: perfect for running around on the weekends.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Bridesmaid Dresses, Revisted, Again

Because I am now in the market for bridesmaid dresses for my wedding and for one I will wear as a bridesmaid myself, I am still highly unimpressed with my options.

I have found several more categories of the hideousness, beyond what I discussed several months ago on this topic.

First, there is The Shiny And Cheap Dress.  This dress is shiny and-you guessed it- cheap.  When I say "cheap" I mean cheap-looking, not necessarily inexpensive.  Many an expensive dress may be found in this category.  And they are almost always shown in the worst possible colors.  Please see Exhibit A:

Pretty sure the bride's selection of this color is telling you that she could not care less about whether you looked washed out/ill/dead.  See also, many, many options at David's Bridal.

Second is the I THINK This Is What The Word Classy Means Dress.  These are the dress designs that are trying too hard.  They are often strapless (a ridiculous trend I wish would die), but not always... See Exhibit B:

Not only does this dress make EVERYONE look stumpy by cutting off their leg line, the halter neck and significant cleavage screams trashy.  So if you aren't certain of what the words classy or tasteful mean, do yourself a favor and LOOK IT UP.

Third is the Dowdy Dress.  This dress makes its wearer look old, no matter what her age.  These dresses are often separates or a dress with a jacket.  These can be found in both the Bridesmaid sections and Mothers of the Bride/Groom sections of a store or site.  They are a plague we must collectively work to eradicate.  Please see Exhibit C:

Um, I can't even find the words for this monstrosity.

The fourth category is the Romantic Dress.  This dress is gauzy, wispy, and in a non-color like pale lavender or baby pink. Exhibit D:

People, I can guarantee that if the groom isn't color-blind, he will hate these dresses.  And they don't do justice to any person over age 6.  Adults just look ridiculous in these I Am Being Romantic Because This Is A Wedding And I Want To Infantilize My Bridesmaids dresses.

A fifth and highly ubiquitous catergory is the OOh You Could Wear It Again, It's So Boring Dress.  This dress is such a snooze, the bridesmaids will barely be noticed.  And the bride gets to justify her (usually unflattering and shiny) selection by believing her bridesmaids will be able to sport this little number again. Exhibit E:

Hey, brides!  This is a myth.  Don't kid yourself- she doesn't want to wear this POS again EVER.

Until next time, I leave you with this:

Hey, if I can't sleep after seeing this, I want company in line for the eyeball bleach.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Weekend Hiatus

...will be back on Monday, hopefully with some horrible ski outfit pics taken on the sly.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Handbag of the Day: Foldover Crossbody

This is the Lucky Foldover Crossbody bag.  Let me just start by saying that I do not condone the purchase of this bag in this weird color combo.  It looks juvenile and a little cheap.  However, if you click on the link, you will find not one, but two, other color options that are highly superior and pretty awesome.

It's $199 and in brown or dusky citron, the bag's details are fun and cute without being saccharine and ridiculous.  The size and shape look ideal for school or work or weekends, and the handles and cross body strap add versatility.

If I didn't already have a fab bag with bird details, I'd probably be unable to resist this one...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Weird-o Bag

Does this bag look to you like it has a mustache?  Me too.  Which is why I am pretty insulted by the $434 SALE PRICE tag.

Hello, Skinny Jeans!

I really want this site's claims to be true. 

Hello Skinny Jeans sells what is says are "thigh-slimming, stomach-flattening, buttocks-shaping, leg-lengthening stretch blue jeans."  And the site has before and after pictures that are pretty convincing.  But are the models thin enough already that these jeans won't really make a noticable difference?  What about the rest of us?

If these really work, I'm in.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Handbag of the Day: Red Spring Shopper

This is the Fresh Leaves Shopper at Anthropologie.  It's $158 and comes in red and sky (a blue so light it's almost grey).  I love this bag so much, I may or may not have just bought it.*  I love the leaves detail, the lipstick red leather, and the slouchy shape.  It's a fairly casual bag but I can use it every day for spring, once that elusive season decides to show.

*And by "may or may not", I mean you can bet your arse I did.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Lady Gaga Barbie

Not a huge Lady Gaga fan.  Am loving this Lady Gaga Barbie, though. The artist who does this makes some pretty awesome stuff.

In The Nude: Spring Shoes

Now that winter has been dragging on for some time, I am ready to move on.  To days when boots are an option and not a necessity.  So, even though it's not quite time to bring out the ol' peep toes, let's chat about spring shoes, mmmkay?  'Cause it's fun and I've had my fill of boots unless they are on a killer sale and in that case let's talk.

Nude shoes are all the rage for spring, so consider some when you are browsing.  Not only do they go with everything, they are pretty easy to find at a lot of price points.  Obviously, everyone's nude is a different shade, so I'm going to feature a few pairs that are close (ish) to my own skin tone, for simplicity's sake.  Also, they are all under $100.  Woot.

The one above is the Nine West Vadim and is $89.  I love the wood stacked heel, peep toe, and piping detail.  These would work for the office and on the weekend.

The Vince Camuto Saran is also $89.  In tan, they are really fun since the wood heel stands out (in black, not so much).  The three inch heel makes these a pretty rational choice for work.

This AK Anne Klein Sestina is $75 and looks really comfortable and cute.  Great weekend shoe.

A pointy-toed, slingback option, the AK Anne Klein Clout 3 is $69.  The faux-skin texture is trendy but the neutral color and classic shape keep it wearable for much more than one season.

And finally, a flat: these Blowfish Cruise flats are $40 and are freakin' adorable.  They would be perfect with jeans or a dress on weekends, and could even work in a casual office.

P.S. Piperlime has some awesome deals on flats right now.  Scoop 'em up while you can.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Handbag of the Day: Silk Satin Clutch

I think this silk satin clutch is so girly, it's awesome.  In brown or champagne, it even feels a little sophisticated (it also comes in silver).  And it looks big enough to actual hold what you'd need for evening.  For $25 each, you could get both.

Adorable Winter Accessories on SALE

Winter accessories on SALE people.  Adorable gloves (fingerless & otherwise), scarves, and hats.  In super fun colors.  At fab prices.  I don't know about you, but wearing color keeps my winter blahs at bay, at least a teeny bit.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

What Am I Wearing?!

This was recently posted on my soon-to-be-launched wedding website.

The instant Sean and I got engaged, we were asked when the wedding was happening.  Never mind that we had JUST GOTTEN ENGAGED about two seconds ago.  People wanted to know right that minute when they should pack and fly in for the big tying of the proverbial knot.  I suppose in retrospect that will seem normal and even kind of endearing, but for now it feels like inquiring minds want all the details, all the time, without giving either of us a minute to breathe.

Now that a venue has been selected and a date set (in that order, mind you), the question on everyone's mind is: Have I found THE DRESS? 

Here's what I have to say about The Dress:  I will be wearing one. 

I will not be giving details prior to the ceremony about its color (no, I didn't pick something totally offbeat/weird like magenta lace), where it is from, how much it cost (um, hello, rude question), or who has seen it (Sean hasn't, and the few who have are sworn to secrecy).

I am under no illusions that this topic is everyone's first priority or thought every waking moment.  I mean, what we'll be eating has been brought up a fair number of times, too. I do think that asking the bride about her dress is akin to asking a lawyer to divulge his client's secrets. We're Not Gonna Talk.

I am happy to discuss the hors d'oeuvres choices (yes, some veggie options will be available), whether are serving hard liquor (no, this is a beer and wine only event, but it will be flowing and it will be good), and the dress code (semi-formal or formal suggested).  But let's lay the topic of what I will be wearing to rest.  Believe me, you'll either like it or you won't.

Belted Glove Skirt

Yep, it's a stupid as it sounds.  Personally, I think this skirt looks like someone behind you is covering your crotch.  And that's just SUPER awesome. Thanks for the tip, E Dub!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Blog From Moi

So, I've started a new blog.  If you love it, tell a friend.  If you hate it, feel free to ignore it completely.  Either way, you can find it here.

Handbag of the Day: Small Tote

This is the Garbo Small Tote from MAXX New York.  It's $149.99 and looks like a great winter-spring transition bag.  Since it's not real leather, it can withstand some wet weather and wine is a great color- fun and pretty neutral.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Some 2010 Resolutions

Most people use their blogs to post their own resolutions.  I am going to skip over my own (which may or may not be to post at least twice a week) and get straight to what I think YOURS should be. 

Let's begin, mmkay?

Your 2010 Style Resolutions:

1. You shall avoid ripped leggings.  Yes, all of them. Like the plague.

2.  You will not wear crocs or Uggs. Unless you are a nurse who is required to wear Croc-like shoes or need Uggs as apres-ski boots, forget them.  Entirely.

3.  You will not decide that harem pants are ok just because you are now getting used to seeing them.

4.  You will dress your age.  Violators: you (and I) know who you are.

5.  You will not have VPL.  Visible Panty Line is a scourge on our nation and I cannot tolerate it any longer.  Buy some seamless undies, check yourself out before you leave the house, or cover your arse entirely.  And a pair of thong panties never killed anyone.

6.  Don't let your mom dress you. You know what I'm talking about.  After a certain age, wearing that sweater she thought was adorable is no longer appropriate.  Unless she's a super hip stylist or someone who shares your taste in clothes completely, take the chicken soup and leave the fashion advice.

7.  Have fun with clothes.  This means you do get experiment and make mistakes.  Learn from them.  Let's just say I will not be wearing tomato red with army green and brown again any time soon.

8.  You will not be matchy-matchy.  It's OVER people.  O.V.E.R.

9.  You will not wear open toed shoes without a RECENT pedicure.

10.  You will try at least one new style or peice this year- just one thing you never would have tried before.  Even if you don't buy it, try it on and check it out.  You might surprise yourself.