"You're a homeowner now- they do things in shorts."

...so sayeth my snarky li'l sis.  And she is right. 

Because where I live now?  Is HOT.  Not warm, not balmy, not yay-I-don't-need-a-jacket.  HOT. AS BALLS. 

Enter: The Great Shorts Debate.

Since leaving Florida, I have been a staunch Shorts Opponent.  They are flattering on few, can be replaced with a skirt or dress easily, they look like you are on safari, blah blah blah.  Li'l sis, also a Shorts Opponent, understands the issue and flatly refuses to wear them, even in the Chicago summer.  Speaking of hot.

But it's hot here.  And I running errands and unpacking and wandering around the garden and breaking down boxes.  I have been doing all of these things in a dress.  And that just isn't practical or decent, considering I almost flashed the Comcast guys like 8 times yesterday.

So, I found myself reaching for shorts this AM.  I scrounged up an old school pair- faded navy blue from Banana.  They look exactly how I expected them to look: hideous, bland, and suburban soccer mom (apologies to actual soccer moms who are much more stylish than the world gives you credit for).

The shorts landscape has changed, however.  If you have eyes, you have seen them all over the place, in more cuts and patterns than ever before.  You have seen shorts with tights and boots (still HATING IT). You have seen sweet little lacy numbers.  You have seen scalloped edges.  With all of this variety, couldn't I find at ONE acceptable pair?

The short (ha!) answer is yes.  I won't bore you with the details of the extensive searching I have done, and continue today.  These are what I ordered today from Anthro, with hopes high that I might find 1 or 2 pairs elsewhere to round out a summer collection:

Compass Points Shorts ($68):

Ship Shape Shorts ($68):

Yes, yes, they have vaguely nautical references.  At least I didn't get these Smooth Sailor Shorts ($54.99):

Though I love them dearly.

And yes, I broke the shopping ban.  These aren't even my cheat items.  Sigh.

Don't get me wrong- I am not a Shorts Convert exactly.  More of a Shorts Agnostic- ready to see what's out there, hopefully with an open mind.

Moving Week

It's moving week! I will be back soon...

What's the Diff? Doormat Edition

This got dirt? doormat is $24.99 at Coco Mats N More.

This got dirt? doormat is $9.97 at Wal-Mart. 


What's the diff besides the colors?  Well, the Coco mat is made from 100% natural coir fiber and the Wal-Mart version...is, too.  They are both 18"x30".  Both have a non-slip backing.  Soooo, it looks like aside from the aesthetics, they are pretty damn similar. 

Except that, for an extra $15.02 + shipping, I don't have to support Wal-Mart. And that's enough for me!

No, Moving is Not an Excuse to Look Crazy

Moving day is fast approaching.  Up to this point, S and I have been bringing over the smaller, breakable stuff on our own.  Which means multiple trips up and down the stairs, across the bay, and into the new place.  And so I have to contemplate what to wear for each day of moving, all while knowing I could run into new neighbors at any time. 

Here are a few things I keep in mind when moving:

1. Sleeveless is my friend.  Just because it's cool in one place doesn't mean it's not hot as hell in the other. 

2.  Ditto dark jeans.  After pulling, pushing, and dragging two 8x11 rugs up from the backyard and into the new house (which includes some stairs), I no longer believe my light wash trouser jeans were my best choice.

3. Not my friend?  Low rise jeans.  Too much bending down to ensure I'm not flashing a neighbor at all times.

4.  Ditto my giant handbag.  I love her, but damn, she's annoying to carry everywhere when my hands are full of 20 other things.

5. Since I refuse to wear sneakers when not deliberately exercising, flats are a no-brainer.  Have you ever tried to haul stuff in (even very low) wedges?  Don't.

6. Make up isn't even kind of an option when I am all gross, so I can at least have my hair not look insane. It takes less time (for me, at least) to deal with my hair than make up, anyway.

7. No jewelry that could even possibly get in the way!  I learned this the hard way by wearing a giant cocktail ring while trying to drag a rug in.  Never.  Again.

That's it for now- round 438 is about to begin.

June Shopping Ban

My May Shopping Ban was a success!  Not only did I BARELY cheat (for the -too-good-to-pass-up Kate Spade wallet; for 3 pink tees from Old Navy for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day; and a sweet little belt for $15.50), but I started to think a lot more rationally about what I was buying and why.  Before I added anything to my virtual cart, I was forced to stop and think.  Which apparently I wasn't doing much before. 

And no, I am not counting my Stella & Dot jewelry because I earned all my pieces for free by hosting a trunk show and the two things I did purchase were for someone else.

Because the May ban was such a success for me, I am continuing the ban in June.  Same rules, one guilt-free cheat item.  This time, I most likely will actually get the red patent leather pointy toed flats I have been eyeing.

My clothes/shoes/bags/jewelry shopping ban is in part because I am trying to cut back my unnecessary spending and be more conscientious about what I buy, but also because I am officially a homeowner now.  And yes, I want to buy house stuff.  Lots of it.  I hope you'll pardon me when a decorating item or six sneaks into my posts now and then, like the What's The Diff post from yesterday...

Did you do the May ban?  How was it for you?  Would you consider doing it again? 

What's the Diff? Housewares Edition

These are the Bird House Salt & Pepper Shakers.  It's $19 at Pottery Barn (marked down from $24).

This is the Plenty of Spice to Share Shaker Set.  It's $21.99 at ModCloth (currently sold out but you can sign up to be notified when it's back in stock).

What's the diff?  Well, the shakers in the PB set are ceramic and the tree is cast-metal.  The ModCloth version is all ceramic.  The price is so similar, I'd say go with the one you prefer aesthetically.  For me, I'd go with the PB set.   Not only does it look higher end, based on what I know of the products from each site, PB products are better made and last longer. 

Size Banana

[Disclaimer: if you don't understand the words "farce", "humor", or "sarcasm", stop reading now.]

I was talking with my friend S today about how certain brands seems to have size inflation.  Yes, like grade inflation.  Vanity sizing is abundant and making things even more confusing for women to buy clothes.

The Gap is one of the worst offenders- a size 4 pant fits what is a more standard size 8 body and then stretches, eventually fitting more like a 10 or 12.  WTF?

This makes buying clothes online particularly crap-shootastic.  And I am sick of it.

The conversation/ranting/chest pounding about numbered sizes not being standard has been had.  But no real solutions have been offered.  Women are offended by what certain numbers seem to imply and the clothing industry has made ZERO effort to standardize anyway.  Even jeans, which you'd think would be easier given the standard waist sizes, aren't easy to buy. 

My solution?  Introducing the new Fruit & Animal Sizing System (FASS).

Why not start with something women have been conditioned to identify with?  Most women know whether they're considered an apple or pear, a sexy panther or a fluffy bunny.  Surely going further couldn't possibly be more damaging- and won't be nearly as confusing.

And it's just as random as the numbers.

Pygmy Hippo: formerly size "small".  Can't be offensive because if you are that skinny, who cares what animal you are?  You obviously have no body issues because being skinny makes everyone happy.

Banana: formerly a size "medium".  Inoffensive because who doesn't like bananas?  Implies that you are curvy, but in a slim, carrying your own wrap kind of way.  And yellow is so cheerful.

Apple: formerly a "figure flattering shape".  Meant to conceal your tummy and emphasizes the waist.  Apples are healthy and contain more vitamin C than oranges.  Take that, citrus.

Orangutan A, B and C: formerly European sizes "1, 2, and 3".  These clothes are meant for people that everyone knows are skinnier than them anyway. 

Pear: formerly a "curvy on the bottom shape."  Typically used for bathing suit and pant shopping, now this size spans the gamut from tunics to flip flips. Because you will obviously need some support for that itty bitty waist and round thing in your face.

Snow Leopard: formerly size "large."  Everyone knows snow leopards are strong and powerful.  Can't catch a goat on the side of a mountain if you are the size of a pygmy hippo.

Turtle: formerly "plus sizes".  Inoffensive because it's obvious that you want to hide your curves under oversized polyester tunics and baggy jeans and don't want any of the same options that Pygmy hippos, bananas, or Snow Leopards have.

Watermelon: formerly "petite sizes".  Because you are just so short and cute and hopefully seedless.

Please note the FASS is an evolving system.  With time, I hope to encapsulate every possible shape and size so that buying clothes is not only easier, but way more fun.  And obviously less confusing than numbered waist/inseam/rise measurements could ever be.