If cow print is your thing, get a new thing.

These shoes are 100% unacceptable. Yes, the shape is lovely and black and white is usually so versatile. But the cow is not an exotic or luxurious animal and its hide is not attractive, except as a prelude to a meal. These shoes are flat out hideous.

Remember how we talked about limiting our kitsch this year? I have not forgotten Resolution #1, nor should you. Do you really want to walk around wearing Guess's approximation of one of the dumbest and most boring animals ever?

Look, I love animals- I eat them, I wear them. And animal print is great in measured doses. But the professional lady in the know wears the print of an elegant, impressive animal, like a cheetah or a leopard. Wearing cow print is the equivalent of wearing polyester when you could be wearing silk. It's just cheap and gross.

Before you get all PETA on my arse and start throwing paint around, I am neither defending nor encouraging you to wear real fur. All I'm saying is that if you don an animal print- real or faux- have the decency to do it well.