7 Fall Trends to Avoid

Below is my list of 7 fall trends that you are to avoid at all costs, along with 2 to wear with caution:

1. Printed Bottoms

This should go without saying, but if the print on your pants or leggings is more skulls than pinstripe, turn around, go back home, and CHANGE. Subtle prints add dimension and depth to an outfit. The shiteous crap you saw in the 80s (and early 90s- *shudder*) is unacceptable in every way.

2. Open-Toed Booties

I have discussed this before, at length. Happy to give you a refresher if you have forgotten why these just aren't right.

3. Snuggies

They are basically blankets with arms worn like a poncho. I don't care what you wear in your house during the winter. I do care what you wear the instant you leave your house, regardless of weather. I love being cozy, but there is a time and place for wearing a blanket, and that time is not at work, at the store, on the bus, at a restaurant, at the park, or any number of other places that qualify as Not Being At Your House.

4. Velvet

Repeat after me: Velvet. Always. Looks. Cheap. And in the daytime? Especially revolting.

5. Embellished Tights

WhoWhatWear is calling this "razzle-dazzle legs," which I think should say it all.

6. Shorts with Tights

I have seen so much of this already, I can hardly stand it. What's wrong with pants or a skirt, people?! Is there a reason that such a weird, juvenile trend has spread so far? It looks trend-slavish at best and cheap and tacky at worst.

7. Visible Lingerie

Do I really have to say OUT LOUD that this is just gross? Purposefully exposing your bra or other lingerie is just crass, I don't care how pretty or expensive it is.

Wear with Caution # 1: Thigh High Boots

I'm not sold on these for myself, but I can understand why people like them. I recommend choosing your skirt length carefully- too short could be in the mistaken-for-a-prostitute zone. Also, the boots should be of good quality leather, not pleather or any other synthetics. When you wear that much shoe, they better look expensive, even if you hit a fab sale.

Wear with Caution #2: Vests

Can be a great layer for a sleek outfit, or could add volume where you don't need any. A vest should not be so oversized that it looks like you borrowed it from a dude. They should not be made of molting, or molting-looking, fur or faux fur. Vests should not be worn with equally large/puffy/oversized pants. And for god's sake, don't buy anything that looks like your mom may have had it in the 70s.