Sunday, August 3, 2008

Toe Tirade

It's summer, even in San Francisco (some days, anyway), and that means open-toed shoes on parade.

I am fan of the open toe- it's fresh and free, compared to your pointy toed arse-kickers and your ballet flats. They can dress down any outfit with the greatest of ease, which is why you must beware when approaching the office in them.

The office where I work does not permit open-toed shoes as they are simply too casual in our industry. (We have been known to allow a peep-toe or two, however.)

If you are permitted to wear open toes in the office, then in the name of working women everywhere, please keep the following in mind:


If you wear open toed shoes in public- that is, anywhere people have eyes- you must maintain your feet impeccably. That does not mean clean, people, though that's a lovely start. This also goes for those of you still wearing flip flops outside the designated pool and beach areas.

If I see one more nasty set of feet in the city on a work day, I will be sick. Let's discuss how we can prevent this:

1. Get a pedicure regularly. By pedicure, I mean full soak, scrub, exfoliation, clipping, and polish. And by regularly, I mean as often as necessary to prevent your snaggle toe from peeking out in your new purple gladiators.

2. Wear close-toed shoes. If you cannot do the above due to finances, laziness, or you are just a damn slob, just don't wear an open-toed shoe.

3. Yellow should not be allowed to mellow. Now, I am not a doctor of any kind, but I know nasty when I see it. Get thee to your doctor if you see anything yellow crop up on those toenails.

4. For god's sake, use a loofa. A loofa can come in a variety of shapes, colors, and price points. I use one that cost $5 at my local nail salon. It's not fancy, but it does its job: it removes dead skin cells from my feet. And that what all women wearing any shoes that even come close to showing your heels or the sides of your feet must do in the shower, as often as possible. Trust me, you will see a difference after a couple of uses and sighted people everywhere will thank you (not to mention your significant other who is tired of being scratched by your feet while sleeping).

P.S. This post is dedicated to well-maintained toe enthusiasts everywhere- you know who you are.

1 comment:

e dub said...

i almost wore open toe shoes today and then realized i need to paint my toesies before i'm allowed to do that. thanks toe police!