Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My Recantation: A tale of lust, woe, and ultimately, salvation


It is SO a word.

Merriam-Webster defines the word recant as "to withdraw or repudiate (a statement or belief) formally and publicly" or "to make an open confession of error."

I am hereby dedicating my recanting (recantment? recanterizing?) to E Dub and all others who tried to persuade me that I was wrong. Because people, I was wrong.

Since I so rarely err* I feel I owe it to you, my loyal readers, to tell you something I thought I'd never ever say: Denim leggings are awesome.

The story goes something like this:

I was browsing my way through Piperlime's Fall top trends and happened upon the denim leggings section. Ready to make fun of the first pair I saw, I started looking more closely at what was being offered. I saw a chance to wear long tunic tops while balancing my lower half with something fitted! The ideal way to wear jeans tucked into my favorite boots! The best way to stay warm while wearing a short dress!

I was in love. And the pair I decided on? Was from Juicy Couture. One of the girliest, most obnoxious purveyors of overpriced useless crap. And yet, the side zippers and sleek lines called to me.

So I ordered them in blue. And considered, just for a moment, ordering them in black, too. But alas, I did not order both colors, a mistake I would realize only when it was too late.

I received them and tried them on at work. After all, if they didn't fit, I was going to have to stuff them back into the box and coax the UPS guy to pick up my return the next day anyway.

I put them on and lo! Long, slim legs! Streamlined silhouette! Happiness in a pair of pants! I already had visions of the floaty tunics I haven't been able to pull off before entering my life once more. I was high on pants, people, and I needed more.

Like any drug, I needed Just One More Time.

So, I trotted home and went back to the site of my happy find. And the black ones were sold out. As I soon discovered they were at EVERY OTHER SITE I SEARCHED as well. And surely we all know my online shopping prowess by now?

I lamented my cruel fate.

So, I called Piperlime and spoke with a chipper customer service rep who cheerfully told me that they were in fact out of my beloved and didn't know when or if any more would become available.

Still jonesing for a hit, I checked out all the major retailers of these overpriced, I mean, DELIGHTFUL designer wares.

And who should come through but Bloomies? To say that angels sang would only be a slight exaggeration. ** And guess who had a 20% off code sent to her just today? And guess who snatched those babies up so fast and whipped her Visa out so quickly, the superinterhighwaynets could barely process my order fast enough?

How does this tale end? Well, there should be more Outfit of the Day posts, first of all. And secondly, there will obviously be a postscript some time describing how my beloveds in blue and black are faring with me.

And so, E Dubs, et al., this one is for you. You were right and I was wrong. I owe ya one. And now I am going to make sweet, sweet love to- ahem, outfits with- my new reason for living.

*This may or may not be true.
**May have just been my fiance's sighs of relief that I was no longer whining/bitching/sniffling about how life isn't fair and why me.

3 comments:

Friday said...

LOVE this post!

Sean said...

I didn't think my sighs were that loud...

Nicole said...

I was just talking about these b/c my skinny jeans get all baggy in the knees when I wear boots. My friend recommended a similar pair at Urban (the student is trying to be on a budget). Haven't quite made it there yet, but now I am inspired.
I will sleep well tonight knowing that Ms. Schuster approves. :) XO