Sunday, May 3, 2009

Bad Hair Day?

On my morning commute to work, I see all manner of bad outfits, shoes, and bags. I see some awesome stuff, too, but it's not nearly as entertaining to discuss. One thing I have started to notice are some really odd hair style decisions.

My disclaimer: I have hair issues myself. On various occasions, my boyfriend has accused my hair of trying to strangle him in his sleep and I have apologized to my friends for my hair's unsightly behavior more often than I care to admit. Luckily, I discovered that short hair and I get along (mostly) nicely, so I'm sticking with that for now.

1. The giant untamed mess
This is not a sexy look. If it appears that there is any chance, however slight, that flora or fauna could be nesting in your locks, you need to familiarize yourself with a little invention called a comb. If you have curly hair and brushing or combing makes it worse, it's time to wash, condition, and use some hardcore styling products. And it may be time to find a new salon.

2. Scrunchies
Should you need a reminder of this small but hideous monstrosity, here is one:

Not only it is dated and juvenile, the scrunchie is a big advertisement that you are Stuck In The Eighties.

3. Pony tails
These are fab for the gym, but in life they are pretty... young. I will admit that before I found the gospel that is short, well-kept hair, I MAY have been one of the young professionals sporting a pony at the office. Believe me, I am glad those days are behind us.

4. Kitsch
If you have read this blog even once before, you know that I have an almost zero tolerance for kitsch of any kind. One of my least favorite kinds is in accessories. I swear, if I see a grown woman wearing Hello Freaking Kitty barrettes one more time, I might start carrying scissors in my day bag so I snip that shit right off when I see it on the train. GROSS. I love a subtle silver barrette or a slick headband. But there's no need for rhinestones at the office. And outside the office, the rules are a little more relaxed- I am totally feeling a (subtle!) feathered headband right now, but don't have a place to wear it yet...

5. Giant bows
Are you freaking kidding me?! No giant bows of any kind are allowed under any circumstances. Don't care if mom told you it was beautiful/fabulous/lovely. After age 3, this is just disgusting.

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