Tuesday, July 22, 2008
It's time to discuss undergarments. I know that everyone feels a little...itchy about this topic, because it's kind of personal, but get over it. There are several things we must all keep in mind when getting dressed in the morning:
a. VPL (visible panty line) is never acceptable.
If you do not own a thong and can't possibly stand the idea of one, get boy shorts. I have found that Jockey makes some very comfortable thongs. Boy shorts ride up my arse (TMI, I know), so I avoid them. I also know a few people who opt out of underwear entirely, and that is perfectly acceptable as long as no one can tell.
b. Bras are not for show.
If your bra doesn't fit, BELIEVE ME, people can tell. If you haven't been fitted, just go to any store that sells bras (VS, Nordies, Macy's) and do it already. Bras are working garments, in the most literal sense of the word. Their job is to hold your girls in place comfortably. By "comfortably," I mean comfortably for you AND people with eyes. And by "in place'" I mean not up to your chin or at your belly button. Uniboob, side boob, and quadruple boobs (you KNOW who you are) are all gross, period. The wrong bra can ruin the best outfit.
Yeah, yeah, lacy and pink is soooo cute, but it's flat out lumpy under your thin knit top. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and buy one simple nude and one simple black bra. Save the lace for after hours.
c. Slimmers and shapers are your friends.
Seriously, even Jennifer Garner wears them. Unless you have 5% body fat, everyone can benefit from at least one shaper under some of their clothes.
This is not about what you weigh- this is about your clothes fitting well and being able to pull off styles you wouldn't otherwise get away with at the office. My best example is a wrap dress that I own- the dress by itself is pretty clingy, but with a little shaper, it becomes appropriate, though a little on the vixen side of professional.
4. Keep tights and hose tasteful, please.
White or cream tights are very hard to pull off without looking like you are 6 years old or an 80s throwback (I heart the 80s, but not everything has to come back around, people). So just avoid them unless you are VERY adept at colored tights and how to work them into an outfit.
Speaking of colored tights, I love them- in navy, olive green, grey, and eggplant. I cannot get on board with magenta, red, baby blue, or whatever else the fashion industry is trying to sell you. Just because someone is selling something, does not mean you have to buy it. Yes, even if it's on sale. What you wear on your time outside work is the subject of a different blog, but colored tights in anything but a neutral or pseudo-neutral are just not appropriate for work.
If you are a tights/hose newbie, stick to neutral colors with close toed shoes or boots.
For an intermediate fashionista, try a pseudo-neutral (olive, eggplant) with an peep-toed, substantial, neutral shoe.
For those of you who are wise in the ways of tights & hose, play with neutral tights and an open-toed, fun colored shoe.
Hose, however, should always be as close to your skin color as possible and NEVER worn with anything but a close-toed shoe. Seriously, if I see one more woman wearing hose and open toes, I will be sick.
What are your best sources for undergarments?
P.S. How many fashion nos can you spot in the above picture? I see at least six...