Spring Top Ten, Part 1

The Spring Top Ten lists are out, and pretty much everyone is pushing sandals, white and/or distressed jeans, and jean shorts.

As usual, I have my own list, but here's what I think of these particular items.

1. Sandals are obviously a must-have.  But expensive white sandals you will wear for 3 months, tops, is not a good use of your paycheck/trust fund.  If you really like sandals or you live somewhere warm, I recommend getting one trendy cheap pair (can be trashed and discarded, guilt-free) and one more classic, nicer pair (can wear a few years in row).

2. White jeans are something I see Every. Damn. Spring. and I hate them every time.

You must not be swayed by promises of looking Crisp! Carefree! or as if you Own a Yacht!

White pants of any kind must always 1) fit PERFECTLY and 2) be PRISTINE.  If your white jeans do not fit that description at all times, you will look sloppy and larger than you really are.

Distressed denim isn't my thing, especially since I think it's all kinds of stupid to buy clothes that look like an animal just mauled you.  Fully slashed white denim seems crass to me- it's 80s, it's dirty, it's weird.  And while that's what some people are going for, I think in a season when it's touted as a "must-have" you are going to end up looking like you are trying too hard.  As well as looking sloppy and larger than you really are.

3. Let me tell you something about jean shorts:  They are for gardening and the beach/pool.  They are not capable of being "dressed up" for evening.  They are not flattering on most people.  And mostly, they are juvenile.  If you find all of this unconvincing and you still think you can rock them, please do us all a damn favor and avoid layering them over tights or boots.

Part 2 will have my own top ten list, as well as a few tips on what (else) to avoid when shopping this season...