What NOT to wear to the office

My friend E Dub sent me this article called "25 Things a Professional Woman Should Never Wear."

I pretty much agree with all 25 "forbidden items," especially for a conservative office atmosphere.  However, I would very much like to know which women are wearing crocs or fanny packs to the freaking office.  Who are the people who thought these things were ok in the first place?!

Here is my list of 5 Things A Professional Woman Shouldn't Even Have To Be Told Not to Wear to the Office:

1. Crocs

Putting aside the MOUNTING evidence that these are not only hideous but also not that great for your feet, these shouldn't even be considered as even REMOTELY appropriate for the office.  If you work as a nurse or a gardener, have at it, but we're talking OFFICE WEAR people.  These are way too casual for an office- any office- and are the shoe equivalent of wearing a white tank and denim mini. Not ok.

2. Fanny Packs

People, seriously?  This is even something the writer had to mention?  Why the HELL would anyone ever think of this as office attire?  I don't give a damn if it's a Louis Vuitton piece, it's ridiculous and demonstrates a complete lack of giving a damn.  And also that you are stuck in a time warp.

3. Leather Pants

Wow.  That's one I haven't seen much in the financial district.  But if you are one wearing these to the office, you have obviously forgotten what office wear looks like.  This should really (really, really) go without saying, but if you look like you belong a) on stage, b) on a Harley, or c) on a street corner, you are dressed inappropriately.

4.  Sports Jerseys

To even have to say this is ridiculous just tells me how far we've fallen from understanding how to dress appropriately for the occasion.  Play the office pool and leave the damn jerseys at home.

5.  Short Shorts

If you are fortunate enough to be allowed to wear shorts at the office, don't push your damn luck by wearing something that doesn't cover a) all of your arse, and b) at least half of your thighs.  Don't lie to yourself or me and tell me that you really don't know what's too short.  If you can't sit down without- again- at least half of your thigh covered, it's too short for the office.  Period.