I hope you ring in the new year with all of the pomp and circumstance it deserves- very little. Here's the thing: new year's eve is amateur hour where I live. People pour into the city in their sluttiest finery, pay exorbitant prices to get into a place where they will then pay even more for watered down drinks. Over-paying for drinks is one thing, dressing like a huge ho while you do it is another. If you are going to dress like a slightly above base-level priced hooker, you shouldn't be shelling out your kid's college fund to do so.
Here's what I consider Just Too Slutty for New Year's Eve:
1. T and A
It's tits OR arse, people. The OR is key here. Showing off some cleavage is fab, if you are covering your crotch and most of your thighs. And showing a little leg rocks, as long as your girls are all covered up.
2. Sequined Everything
This might be more tacky than slutty, but the two really go hand in hand. If you wear a sequined dress, your other accessories better be damn subtle. The sequined shoes, bag, earrings, and tiara? Get over yourself.
3. Boobs Up To Your Chin
I get it, your girls are perky. But hoisted up to your chin? Is slut-tastic. It's unnecessary and gross and everyone knows damn well that your boobs aren't that high. So give 'em a rest.
4. Polyester and Spandex
You know who you are. You have one "going out" top from college when you were 25 pounds thinner and 100% sluttier. And you want to whip it out now and party like it's 1999. Sorry, people. It doesn't look like you are still in college and it does look like you bought that top 15 years ago from Forever 21.
5. Pleather/PVC Anything
Pleather pants, PCV top: just don't do it.
Dress like you deserve those over-priced well drinks- you deserve it!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christian Louboutin!
...I mean, Christmas.
But seriously, S got me the Christian Louboutin Barbie and I am so excited.
Because I am entirely comfortable being an adult who not only asked for, but genuinely desired, a doll, I am not going to try to justify this gift. I will not appeal to your appreciation for collectors items by telling you only 2,400 were made available for purchase online and only 7,700 were produced worldwide, compared to the 1.5 million other Barbies sold each WEEK, according to one source.
I am not going to appeal to your inner shoe-lover, by telling you that this Barbie has 4 pairs of Louboutins, including a pair of leopard print knee high boots that are amazing, even in miniature (or maybe especially in miniature). Veterinarian Barbie: your shoes aren't nearly as fabulous; your wardrobe can suck it.
And I will certainly not try to explain how, even though Barbie has been under fire for everything from poor self-esteem and body-image to encouraging young girls to cultivate dumb-ness to attract men, I really like the image- from a style standpoint- of Barbie wearing a black catsuit, so as to showcase the shoes, which are obviously the whole point here.
No, I will merely leave you with this: next time a shoe designer as fabulous as Louboutin does a Barbie collab, I'm first in line. I may or may not have already signed up on the Barbie collector site so I can be notified of the next one...
But seriously, S got me the Christian Louboutin Barbie and I am so excited.
I am not going to appeal to your inner shoe-lover, by telling you that this Barbie has 4 pairs of Louboutins, including a pair of leopard print knee high boots that are amazing, even in miniature (or maybe especially in miniature). Veterinarian Barbie: your shoes aren't nearly as fabulous; your wardrobe can suck it.
No, I will merely leave you with this: next time a shoe designer as fabulous as Louboutin does a Barbie collab, I'm first in line. I may or may not have already signed up on the Barbie collector site so I can be notified of the next one...
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Oops, I forgot my PANTS
This subject has been blogged and tweeted to death. And yet, the blight of people wearing tights as pants is still upon us. I do not understand AT ALL why anyone thinks that tights are in ANY WAY a substitute for pants.
Let's break this down, shall we?
1. They are not pants. They are hosiery. Nordstrom and Macy's know the difference, why don't you?
Here, let me help you out:
The Random House Dictionary defines pants as "Sometimes, trouser...a usually loose-fitting outer garment for the lower part of the body, having individual leg portions that reach typically to the ankle but sometimes to any of various other points from the upper leg down."
That same dictionary defines tights as "a skin-tight, one-piece garment for the lower part of the body and the legs, now often made of stretch fabric, originally worn by dancers, acrobats, gymnasts, etc., and later made for general wear for adults and children."
The American Heritage Dictionary defines hosiery as "Stockings, socks, and underclothing."
As those of you with eyes can see, all of the definitions are DIFFERENT. They are not the same. Hello?
2. Since hosiery is not the same as other clothing, it is designed and sold for a DIFFERENT purpose. Just as an example, keeping one's legs warm/comfy/stylish under skirts and dresses. Pants of course, are designed and sold to cover your arse and legs, while at the same time also (hopefully) making said arse and legs look hot and long, respectively.
Here's the thing: when you wear tights, you are being asked to also wear clothing. When you wear pants, you are ALREADY wearing clothing. Ya see what I mean?
3. You don't look as awesome as you think you do. Not only do you look like a trend slave, but you don't look pulled together, chic, sophisticated, upscale, or even kind of ok. You look juvenile. You look like you are copying Lindsay Lohan, which makes me question whether you are a threat to yourself or others. Your arse doesn't look as great as you think it does. And mostly, you look like you FORGOT YOUR DAMN PANTS.
4. There are all kinds of alternatives to the tights-as-pants look that will allow you to keep up with the current trends while maintaining your (obviously erroding) dignity.
There is the denim leggings + tunic look. This is trendy AND sane. Score.
There is the dress over tights look. This is adorable/funky/whatever you want it to be.
There is the skinny jeans option- these, of course, are actual pants, and therefore can be worn as such while also giving you the tight-covering-on-the-bottom you are clearly seeking.
And finally, there is the WEARING PANTS option. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.
5. Every time you wear tights as pants, a kitten dies.
In summary, tights are not pants. Tights are NOT pants. Tights are not PANTS. TIGHTS are not pants. Tights ARE not pants.
To that end, I recommend checking out www.tightsarenotpants.com. Let's all work together to destroy this scourge on our eyes, our delicate sensibilities- nay, our planet.
Let's break this down, shall we?
1. They are not pants. They are hosiery. Nordstrom and Macy's know the difference, why don't you?
Here, let me help you out:
The Random House Dictionary defines pants as "Sometimes, trouser...a usually loose-fitting outer garment for the lower part of the body, having individual leg portions that reach typically to the ankle but sometimes to any of various other points from the upper leg down."
That same dictionary defines tights as "a skin-tight, one-piece garment for the lower part of the body and the legs, now often made of stretch fabric, originally worn by dancers, acrobats, gymnasts, etc., and later made for general wear for adults and children."
The American Heritage Dictionary defines hosiery as "Stockings, socks, and underclothing."
As those of you with eyes can see, all of the definitions are DIFFERENT. They are not the same. Hello?
2. Since hosiery is not the same as other clothing, it is designed and sold for a DIFFERENT purpose. Just as an example, keeping one's legs warm/comfy/stylish under skirts and dresses. Pants of course, are designed and sold to cover your arse and legs, while at the same time also (hopefully) making said arse and legs look hot and long, respectively.
Here's the thing: when you wear tights, you are being asked to also wear clothing. When you wear pants, you are ALREADY wearing clothing. Ya see what I mean?
3. You don't look as awesome as you think you do. Not only do you look like a trend slave, but you don't look pulled together, chic, sophisticated, upscale, or even kind of ok. You look juvenile. You look like you are copying Lindsay Lohan, which makes me question whether you are a threat to yourself or others. Your arse doesn't look as great as you think it does. And mostly, you look like you FORGOT YOUR DAMN PANTS.
4. There are all kinds of alternatives to the tights-as-pants look that will allow you to keep up with the current trends while maintaining your (obviously erroding) dignity.
There is the denim leggings + tunic look. This is trendy AND sane. Score.
There is the dress over tights look. This is adorable/funky/whatever you want it to be.
There is the skinny jeans option- these, of course, are actual pants, and therefore can be worn as such while also giving you the tight-covering-on-the-bottom you are clearly seeking.
And finally, there is the WEARING PANTS option. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.
5. Every time you wear tights as pants, a kitten dies.
In summary, tights are not pants. Tights are NOT pants. Tights are not PANTS. TIGHTS are not pants. Tights ARE not pants.
To that end, I recommend checking out www.tightsarenotpants.com. Let's all work together to destroy this scourge on our eyes, our delicate sensibilities- nay, our planet.
Handbag of the Day: Zipped Up Tote
Are You FREAKING Kidding Me?!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Need to Laugh?
Should you need a laugh, mosey on over to the Net-A-Porter Sale, where you will find the likes of this:
Um, hello, 1992? Your Contempo Casual shorts are calling. And don't worry, they're on sale for $105.
What is this $1,431 (yes, you read that right) embellished tank dress embellished WITH, you ask? No, not gold, diamonds, or the tears of virgins. It's crystal.
This one is just too easy, it makes me wonder if it was put on the site just to be mocked. This little number is $626.50, and is SEQUINED. Because the florescent animal print was too subtle on its own.
This is a lamé-paneled chiffon blouse. It is $633.50. Surely no more needs to be said on this. The fact that it looks like something from Forever 21's club wear section certainly isn't worth mentioning.
There were so many bad pants options, limiting myself here was difficult. These knit pants are $467.50. (Good thing, too, they aren't $468, because no way would I pay an extra 50 cents for these.)
Um, hello, 1992? Your Contempo Casual shorts are calling. And don't worry, they're on sale for $105.
What is this $1,431 (yes, you read that right) embellished tank dress embellished WITH, you ask? No, not gold, diamonds, or the tears of virgins. It's crystal.
This one is just too easy, it makes me wonder if it was put on the site just to be mocked. This little number is $626.50, and is SEQUINED. Because the florescent animal print was too subtle on its own.
This is a lamé-paneled chiffon blouse. It is $633.50. Surely no more needs to be said on this. The fact that it looks like something from Forever 21's club wear section certainly isn't worth mentioning.
There were so many bad pants options, limiting myself here was difficult. These knit pants are $467.50. (Good thing, too, they aren't $468, because no way would I pay an extra 50 cents for these.)
Check out this Site
You MUST check out www.regretsy.com, about the ridiculous and gross handmade stuff on Etsy (which is a site I love and where I find something I want at least 12 times a day). I especially love the Advent Calendar post...
Handbag of the Day: Roundup
Today's Handbag of the Day is actually several- there were too many good ones on sale at Piperlime for me to pass them up (official sale prices start Sunday):
I know, I know- it's shameless self promotion from MJ, but I can't help loving this tote. It's $129.99, which is high for a canvas tote, but I still love it, for all of its rugged/utilitarian-yet-stylish-ness.
This Francesco Biasia Emily IV comes in purple ($169.99), blue and brown (both $149.99). This is a STEAL for this brand, not to mention it's lined in suede. Delish.
This Tano bag is $169.99 and is a little bit bad girl rocker chic, which might be why it's called Mona Lethal. I love all of the pockets and the contrasting colors.
This ridiculous little travel pouch from See by Chloe comes in blue and pink, and as much as I don't go for the cutsie stuff, I am sorely tempted to buy this for $39.99. It looks like the perfect size to pop in my bag or suitcase.
P.S. If you check out the sale, you'll see several other Handbag of the Day picks at reduced prices- yippee!
I know, I know- it's shameless self promotion from MJ, but I can't help loving this tote. It's $129.99, which is high for a canvas tote, but I still love it, for all of its rugged/utilitarian-yet-stylish-ness.
This Francesco Biasia Emily IV comes in purple ($169.99), blue and brown (both $149.99). This is a STEAL for this brand, not to mention it's lined in suede. Delish.
This Tano bag is $169.99 and is a little bit bad girl rocker chic, which might be why it's called Mona Lethal. I love all of the pockets and the contrasting colors.
This ridiculous little travel pouch from See by Chloe comes in blue and pink, and as much as I don't go for the cutsie stuff, I am sorely tempted to buy this for $39.99. It looks like the perfect size to pop in my bag or suitcase.
P.S. If you check out the sale, you'll see several other Handbag of the Day picks at reduced prices- yippee!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Check Out This Fab Accessories Site
This site is just too aesthetically pleasing to keep to myself: megcohendesign.com
Sure, the cashmere throws are over $1000 (!!!), but the fingerless gloves, change purses, and scarves are affordable and fun to browse.
Sure, the cashmere throws are over $1000 (!!!), but the fingerless gloves, change purses, and scarves are affordable and fun to browse.
A pair of flats won't kill you, I swear
After you've opened your Christmas/Channuka/Kwanzaa gifts this year, you can get back to the task at hand: finding awesome flats. This is your mission, whether or not you choose to accept it.
For my lovely readers who cling shamelessly to their heels, I will say this: sometimes the situation calls for flats. You know it's true- there has been that brunch/park outing/afternoon of shopping when you've thought, just for a few tiny moments, that flats might just work better for ya. Fear not- there ARE flats that even a heel-lover like myself can get on board with.
Behold: 10 Flats It Won't Kill You to Consider
Spring Usrey flats for $29.98. Rarely has a synthetic shoe caught my eye like this one. The pointed toe keeps the line flattering, and the zipper detail keeps the look from being too precious.
Banana Republic Prya rosette flats are $98, but we all now they'll be on sale soon enough. Long after the holidays are over, you'll still want to wear these out and about for day or night.
For something a little ridiculous, try the Naughty Monkey Thin Ice flats for $70. The animal print and contrasting yellow stripe might just be what you need to dress up drab winter outfits and these will carry you into spring.
I'm sure I've mentioned these Steve by Steve Madded studded flats before, so now's your chance to get on the bandwagon. They are on sale for $89.99 and they are a perfect alternative to heels for a night out.
A shot of electric blue for $29.99? Check. This is the Rocket Dog Memories flat, and with the knotted bow accent and divine color it's a steal.
If kitschy is your game, try these BC Footwear Escalator flats for $49.95. They come in two color combos.
I'm pretty much in love with these Seychelles Thin Ice Flats. They are $79.95 and have just the right amount of detailing to keep them interesting without being over the top. Plus, the color is one of the most versatile you'll find.
For something a little sweet and office appropriate, check out these nude bow pumps for $32.50.
Here are some cheeky little shoes for the office for $65.00. The shape and color keep them conservative, but the off-kilter button makes them just a tad playful.
Last, but most certainly not least, are these Gabriella Rocha Lolla flats for $59.95. In lipstick red suede, they are stunners. And with the teeniest bit of toe cleavage allowed, they are even a little bit sexy.
For my lovely readers who cling shamelessly to their heels, I will say this: sometimes the situation calls for flats. You know it's true- there has been that brunch/park outing/afternoon of shopping when you've thought, just for a few tiny moments, that flats might just work better for ya. Fear not- there ARE flats that even a heel-lover like myself can get on board with.
Behold: 10 Flats It Won't Kill You to Consider
Spring Usrey flats for $29.98. Rarely has a synthetic shoe caught my eye like this one. The pointed toe keeps the line flattering, and the zipper detail keeps the look from being too precious.
Banana Republic Prya rosette flats are $98, but we all now they'll be on sale soon enough. Long after the holidays are over, you'll still want to wear these out and about for day or night.
For something a little ridiculous, try the Naughty Monkey Thin Ice flats for $70. The animal print and contrasting yellow stripe might just be what you need to dress up drab winter outfits and these will carry you into spring.
I'm sure I've mentioned these Steve by Steve Madded studded flats before, so now's your chance to get on the bandwagon. They are on sale for $89.99 and they are a perfect alternative to heels for a night out.
A shot of electric blue for $29.99? Check. This is the Rocket Dog Memories flat, and with the knotted bow accent and divine color it's a steal.
If kitschy is your game, try these BC Footwear Escalator flats for $49.95. They come in two color combos.
I'm pretty much in love with these Seychelles Thin Ice Flats. They are $79.95 and have just the right amount of detailing to keep them interesting without being over the top. Plus, the color is one of the most versatile you'll find.
For something a little sweet and office appropriate, check out these nude bow pumps for $32.50.
Here are some cheeky little shoes for the office for $65.00. The shape and color keep them conservative, but the off-kilter button makes them just a tad playful.
Last, but most certainly not least, are these Gabriella Rocha Lolla flats for $59.95. In lipstick red suede, they are stunners. And with the teeniest bit of toe cleavage allowed, they are even a little bit sexy.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Product Review: Stiruppz
I have been using Stiruppz for several weekends in a row and I can now officially report on their awesomeness. They kept my skinny jeans AND my denim leggings securely tucked into my boots and I barely noticed I was wearing them. They didn't damage my clothes- I don't think they even left indents in my leggings. For $25 they are well worth it.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Santa Pets: Pro or Con?
I used to be firmly on the side of Dressing Your Pets Like People Is Gross. Since my introduction to icanhazcheezburger and Bumble Steve (he's on Facebook but there are some great pics on this blog), I have gotten over my aversion to dressing up animals for our amusement. I still think the animals aren't into it, but I think I can stand that as long as they aren't being hurt (you know, besides their probable feelings of shame and disgust).
Are you pro or con dressing up pets? This santa cat is pretty cute, people. So's this guy:
Monday, December 7, 2009
Boots + Shorts = FUGLY
I'm not gonna lie to you: I think boots with shorts is a terrible look.
(Actually, I think the whole shorts-instead-of-pants-or-a-skirt is ridiculous, since I think shorts are reserved for hot summer days when traveling or throwing on over your bathing suit at the beach, but I digress.)
Shorts + boots/booties/furry abominations AKA Uggs = FUGLY.
I realize that many of you would like an explanation of my disgust, to which I must respond: tough noogies. My venom for such a juvenile, trashy, sloppy look is deep-rooted and irrational. I cannot express it clearly.*
I will say the following by (lousy) way of explanation:
1. It reminds me of something vaguely athletic, and we know how inappropriate that is when not on a field, court, or track. Please see Exhibit A:
2. It reminds me of the revolting Southern-California-Girl-Bullshit that inspires people to do this:
3. Basically, this "Sloppy and Wishing I Was Still 16 So I Could Get Away With It" look says it all for me:
To sum up, do everyone a favor and wear some pants or a skirt (one that covers your arse, preferably) when wearing your boots. Believe me, you and everyone with eyes will be glad you did.
*And no, adding tights under your shorts and boots does not change anything.
(Actually, I think the whole shorts-instead-of-pants-or-a-skirt is ridiculous, since I think shorts are reserved for hot summer days when traveling or throwing on over your bathing suit at the beach, but I digress.)
Shorts + boots/booties/furry abominations AKA Uggs = FUGLY.
I realize that many of you would like an explanation of my disgust, to which I must respond: tough noogies. My venom for such a juvenile, trashy, sloppy look is deep-rooted and irrational. I cannot express it clearly.*
I will say the following by (lousy) way of explanation:
1. It reminds me of something vaguely athletic, and we know how inappropriate that is when not on a field, court, or track. Please see Exhibit A:
2. It reminds me of the revolting Southern-California-Girl-Bullshit that inspires people to do this:
3. Basically, this "Sloppy and Wishing I Was Still 16 So I Could Get Away With It" look says it all for me:
To sum up, do everyone a favor and wear some pants or a skirt (one that covers your arse, preferably) when wearing your boots. Believe me, you and everyone with eyes will be glad you did.
*And no, adding tights under your shorts and boots does not change anything.
Handbag of the Day: Black Satchel
I'm a sucker for a sharp black bag with gold tone hardware. This is the Steve by Steve Madden Metal of Honor Satchel and it's on sale for $179.99 (from $248). It has a long strap and handles, is all leather, and some good inside pockets. If you want/need/yearn for a new winter bag, this one's pretty awesome and a pretty good deal.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Check out my guest post on The Fashion Police
I have been published as a guest blogger on one of my favorite blogs of all time: The Fashion Police. And on one of my favorite topics of all time. Check it out.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Gift Watch 2009
If you haven't noticed, I have recently become a TEENY BIT obsessed with Twitter. So, my Gift Watching has been done that way for the last week or two. Handily, my recent tweets (yeah, I think it's weird to call them that, too) can be found in the right column of this very page. Woo hoo.For those of you who are morally opposed to/annoyed by/just don't wanna tweet or follow such things, I present to you an Official But Not Comprehensive Gift Watch Summary Thus Far:
1. For the entertainer and/or sweets lover on your list check out www.cupcakecaps.com
2. Super fun and affordable ring at http://tinyurl.com/yklpgjs
3. For the Star Wars fan on your list, this ($132!) bangle will make them proud: http://tinyurl.com/yzmgqye
4. This sweet cupcake lip balm 4 pack is $10 http://tinyurl.com/yeubhm3
5. Find INSANELY adorable (without being kitschy!) jewelry at http://alexmonroe.com/
6. Need a gift idea? Get her this wallet (only $38!) and slip in a couple of gift cards... http://tinyurl.com/ylozmjj
7. This make up set just looks fun to play with: http://tinyurl.com/yhvk3c8
8. These wool-cashmere gloves with buttons are so cute! http://tinyurl.com/yjlc4w3
9. Consider signing up for an Amazon Prime account-the 2 day free shipping on almost everything more than pays for itself during the holidays, at least for me...
10. Free shipping @ J Crew on $150 or more (let's face it: hitting $150 is no problem on that site). Enter code HOLIDAY
11. Her pieces run on the pricey side but they are gorgeous, unique and fun: www.kellymorgen.com
12. CUTEST CERAMICS EVER @ www.villageclayworks.com
13. I love, love, LOVE this detailed and nature-inspired jewelry with a dark side. It's well priced, too! www.dariasalusjewelry.com
14. This cloisonné jewelry is amazing: www.lindalundell.com
15. Crate and Barrel has some pretty fun under $25 & under $50 stuff: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/Gifts/
16. Who doesn't love a cashmere scarf? Lots of options at Nordstrom for under $100.
And, now, for your Feel Good Link of The Day...
17. 31 ways to help others this season: http://letshaveacocktail.blogspot.com/2009/12/31-days-of-goodness.html
Friday, November 27, 2009
Shop Around, People
This blouse is $228.00 at Anthropologie. This exact same blouse is also at Nordstrom. For $135.90.
Had I been planning to buy this top, which I did consider for more than a second, I would have missed saving 40% by not checking other places that sell this brand. The moral? Shop around.
This Barbie Style Salon Playset is $49.95 at Amazon. It is also available at Barbie.com for $26.99.
I actually AM planning to buy this playset for a toy drive at work, and would never have thought that the Mattel site for Barbie is less expensive than Amazon. The moral? Let's say it together: shop around.
There is no reason, if you are shopping online, why you shouldn't check a few other places for what you are about to buy. And check for a coupon code. Any Google search for "Anthropologie coupon code" will tell you pretty quickly whether you could get a % off or free shipping.
Shopping in brick and mortar stores make it cumbersome to shop around, but online there's no excuse to pay more when a few clicks can prevent it. Happy hunting!
Handbag of the Day: Shoulder Bag
The Calvin Klein Rachelle small shoulder bag is only $98 and comes in black and something called violet whisper. The bag looks perfect for everyday over a winter coat or on the weekend so your hands can be free while you shop/drink cocoa/make merry. Plus, you'll get free shipping, so you don't even have to leave house to get it!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Designer Dis: AW can bite me
The $80 tee really pisses me off.
This model is wearing the Alexander Wang Long Sleeve Pocket Tee. And yes, it is $80.
Do I see anything particularly special about this white piece of rayon(!!!)? Do I think a blind nun in the Alps sewed on the pocket by hand?
No and no.
Do I think I could find one that looks EXACTLY THE SAME in a fabric I actually want to wear, like cotton or silk, for much, much less?
Indeed I do.
This is AW's Sheer U-Neck Tee. For $75. I'm guessing the $5 price break is due to the fact that it looks like a stretched out version of the shirts I used to wear in high school gym class, only way more see-though. I just love a tee I have to layer ANOTHER DAMN TEE UNDER in order to wear it in public.
For those of you who think perhaps I am being a bit harsh, please shut it. I could dis on AW all damn day. But have I said a WORD about the $340 Henley top (which could have been borrowed from any large frat boy in the 90s)? Have I mentioned the $235 sweatshorts (are you freaking kidding me)? Have I uttered the tiniest PEEP about the $320 sweatshirt with grommets (it's cropped, people, CROPPED)?
I have not. Or maybe I have. But I don't hate everything from AW. I just think the price point is an artificial way to induce people to buy what they perceive to be exclusive, when really they are just getting ripped off. I haven't seen anything so far that looks original, super well made, or even more than slightly interesting. When you find something, lemme know.
Until then, this overpriced crap just makes me mad.
In the words of Andria C., good friend and shopper extraordinaire: only a wang would buy this tee. Guess what we think that makes you if you pony up for the rest of the line?
This model is wearing the Alexander Wang Long Sleeve Pocket Tee. And yes, it is $80.Do I see anything particularly special about this white piece of rayon(!!!)? Do I think a blind nun in the Alps sewed on the pocket by hand?
No and no.
Do I think I could find one that looks EXACTLY THE SAME in a fabric I actually want to wear, like cotton or silk, for much, much less?
Indeed I do.
This is AW's Sheer U-Neck Tee. For $75. I'm guessing the $5 price break is due to the fact that it looks like a stretched out version of the shirts I used to wear in high school gym class, only way more see-though. I just love a tee I have to layer ANOTHER DAMN TEE UNDER in order to wear it in public.
For those of you who think perhaps I am being a bit harsh, please shut it. I could dis on AW all damn day. But have I said a WORD about the $340 Henley top (which could have been borrowed from any large frat boy in the 90s)? Have I mentioned the $235 sweatshorts (are you freaking kidding me)? Have I uttered the tiniest PEEP about the $320 sweatshirt with grommets (it's cropped, people, CROPPED)?
I have not. Or maybe I have. But I don't hate everything from AW. I just think the price point is an artificial way to induce people to buy what they perceive to be exclusive, when really they are just getting ripped off. I haven't seen anything so far that looks original, super well made, or even more than slightly interesting. When you find something, lemme know.
Until then, this overpriced crap just makes me mad.
In the words of Andria C., good friend and shopper extraordinaire: only a wang would buy this tee. Guess what we think that makes you if you pony up for the rest of the line?
Handbag of the Day: Oversized Tote
Please say hello to the lexi slouch oversized tote from Calvin Klein. It's $152.60 and has a really! fun! bright blue! lining! The pleat detail keeps the look sleek, and while this is on the plain side, it could be ideal for someone who tends to go less plain on their outfits or other accessories.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Lucky Mag, We Need to Talk
Dear Lucky Magazine,
I have been a loyal reader and faithful supporter for several years. I have been willing to try billowy blouses with boxy skirts (hello, added volume), slouchy shorts with heels (um, weird), and beaded necklaces way after their prime (just plain juvenile and tacky). But much of what you have suggested or taught me in the past has been interesting, useful, and not entirely against my better judgment.
However.
The December 2009 issue is chock full of hideous suggestions and ideas that I wouldn't consider on my most desperate day of wardrobe hell. For brevity's sake, I highlight three of your most recent transgressions:
Shorts for Evening: this is a terrible idea, not least because it is just beyond weird. I don't care if the shorts are sequined and you are wearing your fanciest heels, you'll still be wearing SHORTS AS EVENING WEAR. Yeah, shorts have made a come back somewhat on the runways, but to advise normal people to do this is just irresponsible. Not ok.
Sweatpant Trousers: Are you freaking kidding me?! Are the editors blind? Please explain how sweatpants- designed for masses of People Who Just Came From the Gym or Just Gave Up Entirely- got "styled" with rolled up hems, chunky platforms and a blazer? Perhaps this was the Joke of The Issue section? No? The words that came to mind when I saw this were: schizophrenic, heavy, weird. Not words I want associated with my look, ever.
Socks Pulled Way Up Over Boots: This one can get controversial. I am on the side of Socks Peeking Out Over The Tops of Flat Riding Boots Can Be Cute. You are apparently on the side of Socks Pulled Up So High More of Your Leg Is Covered By Sock Than Boot. I find this look a little silly and also a lot stupid. And if you are already wearing tights, why the hell are you wearing socks? Just buy boots that fit and you won't have this issue in the first place.
I contemplated a break up, but I am planning to give you another chance to satisfy me in ways only you know how. Who else can provide page after page of drool-worthy bags along with good advice on how to wear (adorable!) short-sleeved coats and jackets in the winter?
Lucky Mag, you and I are meant to be together. Please stop including weird/stupid/lame/insulting advice in your future issues, and I know we can go the distance.
Yours truly,
Ellen S.
I have been a loyal reader and faithful supporter for several years. I have been willing to try billowy blouses with boxy skirts (hello, added volume), slouchy shorts with heels (um, weird), and beaded necklaces way after their prime (just plain juvenile and tacky). But much of what you have suggested or taught me in the past has been interesting, useful, and not entirely against my better judgment.
However.
The December 2009 issue is chock full of hideous suggestions and ideas that I wouldn't consider on my most desperate day of wardrobe hell. For brevity's sake, I highlight three of your most recent transgressions:
Shorts for Evening: this is a terrible idea, not least because it is just beyond weird. I don't care if the shorts are sequined and you are wearing your fanciest heels, you'll still be wearing SHORTS AS EVENING WEAR. Yeah, shorts have made a come back somewhat on the runways, but to advise normal people to do this is just irresponsible. Not ok.
Sweatpant Trousers: Are you freaking kidding me?! Are the editors blind? Please explain how sweatpants- designed for masses of People Who Just Came From the Gym or Just Gave Up Entirely- got "styled" with rolled up hems, chunky platforms and a blazer? Perhaps this was the Joke of The Issue section? No? The words that came to mind when I saw this were: schizophrenic, heavy, weird. Not words I want associated with my look, ever.
Socks Pulled Way Up Over Boots: This one can get controversial. I am on the side of Socks Peeking Out Over The Tops of Flat Riding Boots Can Be Cute. You are apparently on the side of Socks Pulled Up So High More of Your Leg Is Covered By Sock Than Boot. I find this look a little silly and also a lot stupid. And if you are already wearing tights, why the hell are you wearing socks? Just buy boots that fit and you won't have this issue in the first place.
I contemplated a break up, but I am planning to give you another chance to satisfy me in ways only you know how. Who else can provide page after page of drool-worthy bags along with good advice on how to wear (adorable!) short-sleeved coats and jackets in the winter?
Lucky Mag, you and I are meant to be together. Please stop including weird/stupid/lame/insulting advice in your future issues, and I know we can go the distance.
Yours truly,
Ellen S.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Handbag of the Day: Frame Flapover with Two Straps
This is the Marisol bag from Hobo and it's pretty cute. It's also on sale for $139. It comes in maple and sorbet (a somewhat less versatile, but pretty, pink). Its unusual shape and cute dot detail are fun, and it looks like the perfect size to be worn as a crossbody. This bag was originally $278 so it's pretty much a steal for under $150.
Gift Watch 2009: Apres Ski Boots
You heard it here first: just because a girl doesn't ski, doesn't meant she shouldn't have furry, warm apres ski boots to hang out in the lodge/at home/just because they're awesome. So, these are on my list this year.
The Sporto Chelsea boot, above, is one I considered for more than half a second. They are cute in a slightly ridiculous way and they're waterproof. Check. But they also have a (small) heel and a somewhat masculine rubber tread. I don't live in Chicago, people (sorry, li'l sis). And I wonder how practical they'd be if I actually DID end up putting them on after skiing.
I thought I kind of liked these:
But are they TOO utilitarian?
The North Face Janey is in the running:
Hello, laces up the back!
And I'm into this Merrell boot:
A little interest on the side, a lot of snuggly around my feet.
Thoughts? Musings? The recent cold weather has me dreaming of snuggly shoes, but I don't think these are appropriate ALL the time. Use some discretion, I'm asking nicely this one time. I'm talking to you, ladies who think these look cute over jeans or with a freaking mini skirt.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Handbag of the Day: Leather Bowler
This Bowler Bag from Joe's Jeans is $98.90 and comes in five colors. The eggplant is seasonally appropriate- and very now- but I also like it in black. I love the fun shape, useful size, and simplicity of the bag. And the bag is a steal, considering the design details it features, like protective feet and interior pockets.
Outfit of the Day
Details: Top, Max Studio. Jeans, Nordstrom. Booties, BCBG Max Azria. Necklace, Banana.What it was for: Sunday bridal shower for a friend.
Why it works: I am calling this Tasteful Rock Chic. The blouse-y, feminine top balances the skinny jeans, as well as the rocker-ish vibe of the the boots, necklace, and jeans together. Black shoes with black pants lengthens the leg- and sometimes, that's just what needs to happen.
What it needs: Frankly, nothing.
Dress it up: Was already pushing it for a brunch event in the burbs, people.
Dress it down: Switch high heeled booties for flats, lose the necklace.
This picture is a testament to how necessary a new camera is in the fiance's life, no?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
My Recantation: A tale of lust, woe, and ultimately, salvation
It is SO a word.
Merriam-Webster defines the word recant as "to withdraw or repudiate (a statement or belief) formally and publicly" or "to make an open confession of error."
I am hereby dedicating my recanting (recantment? recanterizing?) to E Dub and all others who tried to persuade me that I was wrong. Because people, I was wrong.
Since I so rarely err* I feel I owe it to you, my loyal readers, to tell you something I thought I'd never ever say: Denim leggings are awesome.
The story goes something like this:
I was browsing my way through Piperlime's Fall top trends and happened upon the denim leggings section. Ready to make fun of the first pair I saw, I started looking more closely at what was being offered. I saw a chance to wear long tunic tops while balancing my lower half with something fitted! The ideal way to wear jeans tucked into my favorite boots! The best way to stay warm while wearing a short dress!
I was in love. And the pair I decided on? Was from Juicy Couture. One of the girliest, most obnoxious purveyors of overpriced useless crap. And yet, the side zippers and sleek lines called to me.
So I ordered them in blue. And considered, just for a moment, ordering them in black, too. But alas, I did not order both colors, a mistake I would realize only when it was too late.
I received them and tried them on at work. After all, if they didn't fit, I was going to have to stuff them back into the box and coax the UPS guy to pick up my return the next day anyway.
I put them on and lo! Long, slim legs! Streamlined silhouette! Happiness in a pair of pants! I already had visions of the floaty tunics I haven't been able to pull off before entering my life once more. I was high on pants, people, and I needed more.
Like any drug, I needed Just One More Time.
So, I trotted home and went back to the site of my happy find. And the black ones were sold out. As I soon discovered they were at EVERY OTHER SITE I SEARCHED as well. And surely we all know my online shopping prowess by now?
I lamented my cruel fate.
So, I called Piperlime and spoke with a chipper customer service rep who cheerfully told me that they were in fact out of my beloved and didn't know when or if any more would become available.
Still jonesing for a hit, I checked out all the major retailers of these overpriced, I mean, DELIGHTFUL designer wares.
And who should come through but Bloomies? To say that angels sang would only be a slight exaggeration. ** And guess who had a 20% off code sent to her just today? And guess who snatched those babies up so fast and whipped her Visa out so quickly, the superinterhighwaynets could barely process my order fast enough?
How does this tale end? Well, there should be more Outfit of the Day posts, first of all. And secondly, there will obviously be a postscript some time describing how my beloveds in blue and black are faring with me.
And so, E Dubs, et al., this one is for you. You were right and I was wrong. I owe ya one. And now I am going to make sweet, sweet love to- ahem, outfits with- my new reason for living.
*This may or may not be true.
**May have just been my fiance's sighs of relief that I was no longer whining/bitching/sniffling about how life isn't fair and why me.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Shopping Quotes
And now, for your periodic dose of nothing-in-particular, I give you three of my favorite shopping quotes:
I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.
-Sex and The City's Carrie Bradshaw
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.
-Bo Derek
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
-Tammy Faye Bakker
Sale Alert
In case you live under a rock/in a cave, there are A LOT of sales going on right now. For me, that means I can get started on my Channuka/Christmas/Kwanzaa shopping. The current Nordstrom sale is pretty great, for starters. And the sale I just hit at Max Studio was pretty awesome. If you are like me, and like to spread out the holiday shopping, you might consider checking out some of these sales. Happy hunting...
Handbag of the Day: Leather Hobo
This Bend-and-Bow hobo is $168 and comes in raspberry, grey, and blue. I love the simplicity of this bag, which makes it sophisticated and easy to wear. I also love that it can be worn as a cross body or a shoulder bag. The burnished hardware is a nice contrast to the super shiny hardware found on a ton of bags this season, too.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Italy, Revisited
I WISH.
I'm really just revisiting Italy by (finally!) posting pictures of what I bought for myself in Florence, Land of Delicious Leather Goods Available by the Truckload.
The blue clutch is from Il Bisonte. The Florence store had so many bags I wanted, ultimately I stuck to the sale section and picked up this little gem.
I bought the purple handbag at a fab handbag store that I literally stumbled upon while searching for leather jackets. The bag is convertible three ways and I got a deal cut for me since I ended up buying a second bag for my li'l sis (can't post it or I'd ruin the surprise for her; suffice it to say that it's a totally different look and the leather is awesome).
The handbag sales woman recommended an amazing leather jacket shop, Massimo Leather, from which I purchased not one, but TWO leather jackets (pictures forthcoming during an Outfit of the Day). The really nice shop owner cut me a deal since I bought two. If you are going to Florence, GO TO THIS STORE. And ask for Massimo.
Last stop: Shoe store recommended by Massimo. Fab boots under 100 euro procured. Score!
And the shopping trip would not have been nearly as successful if I hadn't followed the Best Shopping Advice from Li'l Sis EVER: go alone. The sales people will bargain with you more freely if you aren't with someone. This seemed especially true for women, but I have no way of knowing what it's like for a dude...
Sigh. The mall just doesn't look the same any more.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Stylish Office Supplies
Since style at the office isn't limited to what we wear, I thought I'd discuss some stylish (and a couple of not so stylish) ways to add some personality to your daily gig. I will preface this by saying that I checked out several big box stores for fun stuff and came home empty-handed. So, while I heart Target, et al., they weren't doing it for me in this arena.
First, a few rules:
1. A little personality goes a long way at the office. You can be a zealous sports fan/cat lady/dog lover at home, but at the office, just a few choice items will do. As with any accessories, choose one or two pieces as your focus, and the rest of what you have can be basic. For example, a cat of the month calendar and some cat-themed sticky notes are fab. Those plus a cat stapler, cat pen, cat mousepad, cat magnets, and cat folders will mark you as more interested in cats than your job. And while that might be true, there's no need to advertise that to your boss.
2. Remember that you are at work. Sticky notes with snarky quotes are fine if they can exist in mixed company, but do you really want your supervisor to see that file with the "File This Under U for Useless" note on it? Ditto for anything religous or even mildly sexual.
3. Fun and unique does not equal kitschy. I think glitter pens with fluffy tops can make any woman look juvenile and take away from her being viewed as smart, capable, and worthy of being taken seriously. No matter how relaxed your office environment is, avoid all things Hello Kitty or anything that looks like you might have loved it in middle school. (Miley Cyrus fans, I'm looking at you.) Tow the line between fun or a little silly and just plain frivolous.
On to the shopping!
I may or may not have just dropped $80 on office supplies at Galison. Their selection is great, their prices are good (a few items- the exact some ones- were lower here than at other sites I checked out), and I even found a %15 off coupon code (thank you, Google). I'm particularly keen on the holiday gift card and tag sets and the way you can shop by theme or collection, so you can coordinate your supplies if you wish.
See Jane Work is another source for cute, unique supplies. Check out the magnetic birdie paperclip holder, fun pencil cups, and the animal tape dispensers. The Pulling it Together blog is entertaining and useful, too.
I also found Sorting with Style in my search for fun supplies. You can shop by style or collection here, too, which makes it easy to find what you like. I'm currently obsessing about the leaf paperclips and the (dog) bones paperclips.
Handbag of the Day
Kidding! Seriously, have you READ my blog?THIS is the Handbag of the Day:
Psych!
Ok, ok, I'll stop. Here it is:
This Lucky Brand Foldover Tote comes in ultraviolet, tan, and black and is $169. I like the angled pleats detail and the fact that it can be folded over to be used as a clutch makes it really versatile. A fun, floral print lining doesn't hurt, either.
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